Check-in & Sad Ramblings
Added 2025-02-12 18:11:06 +0000 UTCComments
Hope you're still reading comments under this video... I wish you all the best, a lot of strength to power through the bad times and hope you're doing ok! As someone on multiple different antidepressants at the same time for years (Bupropion being one of them btw.), I emphatize with your struggles. Sadly I have no smart answers or solutions. All I can do is to offer my perspective (in bad english, since its not my native language). I follow a lot of K-Pop reactors and you're one of my favorites, because you're levelheaded and honest (no fake enthusiasm but also no fake drama). But most importantly you don't "just react" but also discuss your thoughts in greater detail. Like others mentioned, the overall toxicity, negativity and "fighting" between fans is what makes me hesitant to take part in any kind of discussion online or even call myself a K-Pop fan, since the fan culture around that is what drives me away. I still watch and enjoy the music, follow new releases and see what my favorite reactors think about them, but its hard to find a community where you can find disucssions like you mentioned, so I more or less gave up on that front. Covid is over for a while now, people are back in their stressful lifes, the world is in a bit of chaos, living expenses are rising, there is doom and gloom everywhere. So I'm not sure how many people still have time (or the mindset or money) to enjoy K-Pop. But there is also a bit of over saturation without the 2 or 3 "big groups" like BTS or Blackpink that focused a lot of the internatinal interest initially. As K-Pop fan I love the variety that we get these days, but it also splinters the fandoms into so many different directions and camps (all "fighting" against each other) while none of the groups on their own are big enough to "represent" and drive the K-Pop interest alone. I still think, there is a big interests and that there are more fans than ever, but they are all over the place seperated from each other. As far as your YouTube goes: For some reason YouTube doesnt recommend me your videos if I type some K-Pop song + "reaction". I always have to actively search for your channel or scroll way down before your reaction might sometimes show up. Not sure why the algorithm is that way for me... As far as your Patreon goes: Its consistency for me more than everything else, that keeps me engaged and of course the type of content / varietey of content on offer. Money is limited (especially with raising prices), so I have to prioritize where to spent it. If a channel doesn't have something, I'm actively interested in or isn't consistent in uploading, I tend to go and maybe come back later. I also was a (i believe) "King" backer for some time, but there was no shedule for those requests and there was just to much uncertainty for when or even if you will maybe get around to those after months. I also got the feeling that I started to bother you with my requests (since they didn't seem to be exactly what you wanted to watch and being kept delayed in favor of other requests). In the end I "gave up" on making requests. You already had so much on your plate anyways. This time I came back to rewatch some of your older reactions. I like a lot of groups, but as far as "deep dives / variety content" (beyond just the Music Videos) goes, I have to focus on the few groups that are my favorites. Time is limited. And these groups happen to be not the groups that you seem to be interested in (or prioritize), which is completey ok. You can't please everybody. But I saw with some other patreon channels, that they tend to fall into the trap to only listen to their community requests or their own 2-3 favorites. Which is a dangerous game because your focus (and appeal for potential newcomers) will get more and more narrow over time if you only listen to your already existing community. Mixing it up and doing what YOU want is most of the time better. Let your community participate for some of your reactions of course, but also watch other stuff just for "yourself" and to attract new members. As far as advise goes... I don't know... make an absolute minimum shedule that you know you can do for sure and post the shedule on a fixed day public (on all your social media)? People will come and go on Patreon, but give them a chance to see when its worthwile to come back (even for just a month) because there is something on your shedule for this month. Keep at least that minimum shedule (everything else is "bonus") and plan 2 free days per week (as fixed part of your shedule) where you don't do anything for YouTube or Patreon. If the requests atm are to much, limit those as well even if it hurts in the short term. Its better to take fewer requests but get to those in time as to take to many requests. Maybe make the request tier a "one time purchase", so that next month somebody else can get that spot? Helps with mixing up the content as well. Offer some variety in that minimum shedule? For example: One K-Drama and one variety episode per week. Then per month one "catch-up stream" (for new music videos, that you can cut to YouTube reactions after), one "listening party stream for b-sides / albums" and one "live performance stream" per month? You could also do a "group of the month" stream where you go a bit deeper into one group for the month (whatever the content is for those) and switch the group every month? So in result one stream per week (catch-up, listening party, live performances, "group of the month")? You could do these as live streams on a fixed day of the week so you have the live chat with you as direct interaction and chance for discussion? Personally I would also love a "SotM" type discussion at the beginning of month and a "SotY" video at the beginning of the next year, but thats already "bonus" as well as everything else that you happen to have time for or are interested in. Of course, that might be all nonsense... and its way easier said than done. I don't run a Patreon or YouTube afterall.
Guthwulf
2025-02-19 23:08:33 +0000 UTCI've been a nomad but I will try to write to you on twitter. Just to give you my 2 cents (for whats its worth) on the subject. Hang on Paul. After all, Dreamcatcher waited 7 yrs for their first win ;)
V_OmegA
2025-02-13 13:00:03 +0000 UTCI appreciate all the hard work that goes into your content man! I hope you can keep shining and doing what you love, I'll always support what you put out! Please take care and stay safe <3 love ya
Soph
2025-02-13 01:23:56 +0000 UTCI am going to drop a different perspective. You mentioned looking back a few years and seeing reactions with more likes, and more engagement comments and compare that to now and it is far less. Here is the #1 Reason why. COVID, people all over the world (except most of the USA) were locked down and restricted. We had nothing to do but watch YOUTUBE and subscribe to reactor Patreon, to keep us sane and entertained and engaging with the world. We talked about thing online, we added comments, we engaged because we had the time. Now people are doing less, videos get less views, people leave patreon because they have less time to watch things, they don't stay subscribed to people who are reacting less often and less consistent, yes and YOU got your life back too and maybe some don't want to react as much anymore. That's fine. Maybe reactors are adding more groups, different types of content, and reacting less to what those long term Patreons liked or signed up to see. So they dont have time to wait for the cycle of what they wanted to see or hope to see. It declines, naturally, expectedly. Patreon and YT boomed during covid and now people are out and about with things to do. It doesn't mean people like you less or appreciate you less. It simply is them finding other things to do with their time and money. I signed up primarily to watch you react to ITZY, Nmixx, Kiss of Life, Lee Chaeyeon and Young Posse. I work a full time job, I have hobbies, I have friends and a wife. So my time to watch entertaining things is limited. When there isn't anything that interests me at the time I have to watch it, I am going to reassess the value of things. It's the same for everyone who had all day and all night to be online during covid who now does not. It's nothing personal, you are great and entertaining reactor. I love watching you. I will continue to support you as long as you are supporting groups that I like to watch. I am more patient than most I think, and can accept there may be weeks or a month where I get hardly anything that aligns with my interests. That's fine. You are doing great. There are other reactors out there that make excuses for delivering less content when this is their FT job, and they have thousands of paid subscribers. You know the ones who "need a mental health break" or move several times a year, constantly have "internet or pc issues" : That is not you, and I appreciate that about you. Keep doing what you are doing if you can, it's not you, it's people are just busier and focused more on their lives OFFLINE and that isn't a bad thing considering what is going on in the world these days. I will say, thank you. I appreciate all that you do. Take care and I hope you work through it and are happy. Take care.
Incheonguy
2025-02-12 22:53:38 +0000 UTCTo give my perspective as a consumer of KPOP reaction content, I only watch MV reactions from a handful of reactors for my top bias groups. Occasionally, I'll come across a 'new to me' channel and binge through only the most interesting MVs. There is only one other Youtube channel that I am subscribed to for their MV reactions. Everything they react to is something I was already going to check out on my own and is usually up within hours of release. Their Patreon is also the only other one that I stay subscribed to every month because the majority the content is for groups that I am interested in. There are a few other Patreon channels that I am subscribed to, however, I sometimes rotate off different tiers or pause my subscription for a month depending on what they have in rotation. In my opinion, consistency and predictability is the probably the biggest factor that drives consistent subscriptions. The majority of your Patreon content over the past several months has been mostly been driven by the request tiers which leads to a hodge-podge of one off content for a wide variety of different groups. Because you don't have a set release schedule and don't cover a consistent set of groups, it's hard for people to know if they should renew their subscriptions month after month as they don't know if they'll be interested what you react to in the future. As you alluded to, people can say that they are multistans, but that doesn't mean they are going to rewatch everything by every group with every reactor.
ggoom
2025-02-12 22:34:18 +0000 UTCSorry to hear things have not been going so well with your channel. You're one of my favourite reactors because you are always so genuine so I'd definitely miss you if you gave it up. I don't really have any advice because I'm sure you understand your audience better than I do. I have been subscribed to your YT channel for a long time and I have been a Patreon subscriber too, but because your channel is 95% GG focused, whereas I have a strong BG bias, I tend to just rejoin for a month when there is content I want to watch. I'm not suggesting you should change the content you watch to please me or anyone else. I think the enjoyment of watching reactions comes from sharing the experience with someone who is watching or listening to what they choose to. I just wanted to let you know that I value your channel highly, even though I don't watch that much of it.
Verner Cole
2025-02-12 22:26:32 +0000 UTCI'm sorry that you're feeling this way, but don't feel bad for letting it out. Its never a good thing to hold negativity in, because it will consume you from the inside out. I'm sure theres people here that are going through similar emotions and experiences. I found your YT channel 4-5 months ago while being stuck in a rutt, and just want to let you know that your content has helped push me through and introduce me to a bunch of positive new music. I wish that i could engage with your content more but i am a very antisocial person. Even just leaving a comment takes alot for me as I tend to overthink. I appreciate how genuine you are, and your style of reacting/analyzing. If you feel it would be healthier for you to move on from this, it would suck, but im sure most of us would understand. I'm not trying to patronize, but imo you really do deserve more for the effort you put in. Especially compared to others in the space. I hope you get better dude and i know you can make it through.
MadBuckWayne
2025-02-12 21:24:21 +0000 UTCHey man i don't have a lot to say but i hope you'll feel better and keep your love for music up , and know that me and the whole community here will always be here for you ! , hang in there 💪
AJ
2025-02-12 20:37:46 +0000 UTCHey man, I wanted to offer my perspective (though you didn't ask). You are one of my favourite reactors and when I hear a new group I like, I check out your reactions to them first! That being said, its not often that I get into a new group, so a lot of your content ends up being stuff I'm not personally interested in as you cover so many artists. I think when you spread yourself so thin across so many artists to appeal to niches, the audiences are small and you come back to them so infrequently that it's difficult to retain them. Those reactors that blow up relatively quickly almost always benefit from the 'first time reaction' snowballing into a binge of content which is a novelty you simply cannot get back once gone. I think you have a very detailed, fun and honest perspective and I genuinely enjoy your reactions, but reaction content is just not built for viewer retention long term. Especially in kpop, where stans love their groups so much that they pit them against other groups and are unwilling to dive into lots of different groups as it eats up so much time to truly 'stan' a group. For some fully unsolicited advice, have you thought of reacting to kdramas or anime? I'm sure you already have but it seems like viewer retention across different shows is often much better. Sometimes I'm too solution focused as a person so I wanted to add that I think you seem like a really cool guy! Empathy and kindness to other people are some of the most admirable traits to have and you manage it whilst going through personal struggle and self-doubt. You will succeed in life no matter where you put your energy because you're a good person, and its easy to see. Take care of yourself!
ohnocj
2025-02-12 20:22:42 +0000 UTCThank you for the sweet words 💜. This has been the main thing that I've noticed and want to address. I think the most success comes from pure deep dives where you can deliver 2 YT videos and 1-2 Patreon videos on a single group in a week. Regularly returning to them. It's just SO hard with how much new stuff release and all the requests in my backlog. It's what I wanted to do with GFRIEND, Oh My Girl, Monsta X, &TEAM, etc
KpopPrince
2025-02-12 20:01:09 +0000 UTCBupropion is what I'm on too. 150 extended release. I totally agree with you about the negativity. Kpop was always so special to me because it was a pure escape, wholly positive. Twitter has kind of ruined that, along with some genuinely horrible things that have happened with some groups. Everyone is trying to get their Twitterspeak hot takes in, it leads to attention. Unfortunately that'll always be the case -- the most incendiary people get the attention they're looking for. There's a way to be honest and not toxic. Thanks for your input on your viewer tendencies, that helps. I desperately want a survival show that everyone cares about to happen in 2025. You get Discord access automatically via the email address that's linked to your Patreon account! It just has to be the same as your Discord account.
KpopPrince
2025-02-12 19:41:33 +0000 UTCThis is so sad to hear :( I’ll admit I don’t check in with every reaction you upload but when one of my fave groups release something you’re still one of the first channels I go to to see if they’ve watched it bc of your honest feedback and your genuine love for kpop. Unfortunately I think (and this isn’t exclusive to you I think it happens to a lot of reactors) that when you react to a bunch of different groups and spread yourself thin people stop tuning in consistently bc there’s never enough content of the groups they like to justify coming back. You’re likeable and funny and articulate with your opinions so I really don’t think you or what you’re doing in your videos is a problem and I hope you don’t feel that way. I don’t know enough about content creation to give ideas or advice but I hope you figure things out and can find a solution that makes you feel a little better in yourself, sending lots of love and we’ll always be here to listen 🫶🏻🫶🏻
Chelsieee
2025-02-12 19:40:01 +0000 UTCI feel you on the anti-D stuff. I've been taking Bupropion (Wellbutrin) for over a year now, and about 6 weeks ago my dosage was changed to the max and switched to the extended release. It's been helping more than before. Just keep trying until something works because eventually something will. As for K-pop as a whole, I've had to completely stop interacting with communities because there's just so much negativity now that it's overwhelming and it takes the joy out of a lot of things. Like I can't watch any Aespa content without some dumbass in the comments talking about lip syncing. It's so annoying. It's like that for so many groups I like. "Can't sing" this, "nugu" that, "so and so fell off", like stfu already. It makes it harder to enjoy stuff. I know about a dozen reactors that have quit or gone patreon only just because it isn't enjoyable to them or worth the time/effort. I see it in games I play too, like Runescape, LoL, etc. So much negativity and toxicity that it kills people's motivation to want to play the game/consume content. I think this plus all of the controversies going on in K-pop over the last year or so has created a lot of fatigue and people are now looking for other things to enjoy or are consuming content from other platforms. As for the channel/patreon, I'm less knowledgeable about that. I've only ever done update stuff for the Girls Planet sub on Reddit for 2 years and admin a GP999 update account on Twitter. The only experience I gained from that is that once it felt like a job, I enjoyed it less and burned out and stopped. If this is something you enjoy, then I'd say keep doing it. You could always make changes, like focusing on specific artists that you enjoy that also bring an active community to your platforms for you to interact with instead of doing more stuff for less return on investment. At the end of the day, they are your platforms and you should do whatever you feel is necessary for you to enjoy them. For YT/Patreon, I'll stumble across a reaction (your Oh My Girl Killing Voice reaction in this case) and if I like them, I'll binge watch their reactions to the groups I like. If I still like them, I'll check their Patreon for reactions to survivals and to the groups I like. If they have content I want to watch, then I'll sub to them. Once I finish that, I usually unsub until the next girl group survival unless I really like the reactor. If I like but don't love a reactor, I'll re-sub to them and watch their reactions to that show going on plus catch up on what other content they've done for my groups since the last time I sub. I watch stuff from lots of groups because I've watched a lot of girl group survival shows. If you count the 3 queendoms, the only groups I follow that don't have a member from a survival show I've watched are Aespa and StayC. It's just my little pocket of K-pop I enjoy being in and feel knowledgeable about. Also, how do I get to the discord?
Shaun Fortune
2025-02-12 19:34:51 +0000 UTCHey :) I have been subscribed for a quite a while on Youtube. But only recently to your patreon. So I maybe can't speak too much on the matter. But I really enjoy your reactions and opinions. You are honest and up front, which is something that is rare to find in the Kpop community. And please don't feel like these sort of rant/check in videos are something people don't want to see. I think the topics you speak on here are things that resonate with a lot of people in your community. We love to hear from you and how you feel even if they are not positive feelings. Take care of yourself and your health! That's the number one priority here!
Johanna
2025-02-12 19:24:37 +0000 UTCHi! I love your reactions but my favorite groups are Mamamoo, Day6 and Bigbang and because you dont have these groups so much anymore on your channel im not on your channel as much as before but sometimes i do watch your reactions to other groups/artists too just because i really like your honesty and opinions! I really like reaction channels that dive in to artists and dont let it go many weeks between another reaction to them. I have seen reaction channels have live streams on twitch once a week when they only react to one group or artist to get to know them much more and their patreon members write down suggestions for reactions to that specific stream on their patreon site and then they pick some of them to react to on the stream and talk alot to the viewers and i think thats a good way to build a community both on twich, patreon and youtube and for you to connect more to the artists and their fans! The most important is tho that you find a way that make you feel happy doing this again and i hope you will because your reactions really feel genuine and i really love that. Take care 🥰.
Jessi 4
2025-02-12 19:11:19 +0000 UTCClarifying that I'm still a "subscriber", just not paying on Patreon or Fourth Wall currently.
oranguchang
2025-02-12 18:53:12 +0000 UTCAs someone who recently just unsubscribed unrelated to your content or personality, etc, I have to say that times in general are tough and getting tougher. I'm still super into k-pop (I'm a much, much older fan) but concerts and merch are soooooooo expensive now. I'm currently debating on Ghost 9 and NCT127 shows coming up in the next two weeks. Might get nosebleed for $50+exorbitant fees or might not go at all. Also, as a federal contract worker, I have no idea if I'll have a job on any given day, the way things are going. Consistency is definitely key to hanging on to subscribers and attracting new ones. I think otherwise you fall out of the algorithm. I'm always surprised when a few people I have supported on/off fall off my algorithm and then pop back in again. A lot of them have similar struggles to you. Personally, I'm a boy group fan so I don't watch the girl group stuff. Whatever your reactions are, I always enjoy your commentary because it's thoughtful and well-stated. I would be sad if you disappeared as I hope to be able to support again once things level out job-wise. Wishing you the best, truly - take care of your mental and physical health over all else - and I will still be watching.
oranguchang
2025-02-12 18:49:45 +0000 UTCI don't think you should be sorry for how you express how you feel. It is alright to vent because if you don't it will just fester. I have been a patreon and a subscriber on YouTube since the early days and I am not going any where no matter what you decide to do with your channel. There will always be some things I like to see, but I am not going anywhere and your content does help somebody get through the days.
Aliesha Ellis
2025-02-12 18:49:26 +0000 UTCHey man, always sad to see videos like this. I can only give my personal viewpoints, but maybe it's useful to you. You are my only patreon sub atm. Once in a while, I'll sub to another reactor when I have some time, I'll consume most of their backlog in a month and then unsub. I keep yours going. I wasn't actually subbed until we met at the ITZY show and you took time out of your day to talk to me for a while, which made it feel sliiiightly less parasocial to care about your success. I'm a straight white dude in his mid thirties, working in tech. I have to imagine that's pretty far from your typical demo, but I'm not sure. Re: discussion, for me the past few years of internet bullshit has really soured basically all sources of comments on websites. I do have thoughts that I wouldn't mind sharing, but when the likely result of that is either nothing (80%), a like from the creator (10% but its also hard to tell if they are just happy to have engagement), or a bot/low effort reply from another viewer (10%) its kinda like... why bother.
Myps
2025-02-12 18:43:41 +0000 UTCThank you for being so vulnerable with us 💙 I'll always be here to listen to your venting videos, they're relatable. Just want to say again that I'm always a message away if you need a friend and fellow creator to talk to! Also I would love to see you play a video game on twitch in the future if that's something you'd be into. Livestreams also seem like a good place for discussion? But first of all, take care of yourself and take the time you need. These are really hard times to live in, especially for you guys over in the US. Sending you lots of love 💙
johanmoon
2025-02-12 18:41:51 +0000 UTCfirst, you are not speaking into the void, there are some of us listening. TBH, I have never been an active patreon member so I cant speak to that, but I have always been a long time YT sub. For me, my interest in kpop reactions videos, of course, will be "seasonal" based on the groups that I am interested, but overall I am less incline to watch kpop reaction channels overall, even channels I like and subscribe to, is on the decline because I just dont feel like there is no real authentic and honest feelings being expressed. too many channels will paint everything in rose color glasses. I understand the nature of kpop fandom and if you say something that is slightly leaning towards negative, your comments section will be flooded with rude and obnoxious comments, which is prob not very good for ur mental health. I am not sure how to fix this ... but just want to share just one persons thought
Tony Ngo
2025-02-12 18:27:58 +0000 UTC
