On Haremlit and Relationships

I figure with the beginning of part two (for those of you in the Super Fan tier) we're far enough along that I can ask a question to my readers about one of the main reasons I chose to write this novel. To do that, I'm going to have to go deep into character development and why I have made some of the choices I've made. No spoilers, and this is a little long. If you want the TL/DR, it is this: Do you think the relationships so far between Mitchell, Allora, and Lethelin are developing in a believable and satisfying way?

If you want the backstory and the reason behind this question, read on. If you don't need it, and you already know your answer, I'd love to hear it. Jump to the end and leave a comment with your thoughts.

Now, the long part:

While I enjoy the saucy nature of Haremlit and the idea of the threesomes, foursomes, and whatever-somes that come along with it, I have always been dissatisfied with how the relationships develop in almost every one of the books in this genre. At least among the ones I've read. Basically, I felt like they hop into bed way too fast and the word 'love' is tossed around like confetti at a wedding. (Remember, don't throw rice, it fucks up the birds something awful!)

So, I love me some saucy bits, but I am--at heart--a romantic. I like love, too. I have no desire to write a romance novel in the style of those aimed at female audiences, I thought I could do something a little similar but within haremlit. This is why The Onyx Throne is such an extremely slow burn.

The finished product will be more than double the length of a traditional first novel and--up to Chapter 34, which as of this post is the most recent one released on Patreon--is already close to 120k words. Just part one itself is longer than the average length of a first novel from a new author in this genre! And still, no sex. Not even a hand job or a heavy make out session. Mitchell hasn't even gotten to 2nd base!

This is not because I'm afraid to write saucy bits, or that I'm shying away from it. Throne will not be FtB. I have published some extremely explicit erotica stories under some different names, some of which I can't even publish on Amazon for risk of being banned outright, and the quality of my love scenes were all well reviewed. Especially by my female readers, which I take as very high praise, indeed. (If you want to know why, check out reddit.com/r/menwritingwomen . Some of the stuff men put to paper about women is... Well, it's fucking awful. 'She breasted boobily,' is a sentence that exists and that was written by a dude about a woman.)

No, gentle friends, the reason there has been no sex yet is that I want it to be earned. While there is a definite place for the haremlit that has the MC and the LIs bumping uglies by chapter three, saying I love you in chapter four, and preggers by chapter seven, that isn't what I wanted. I've read those books, I've enjoyed some of them, but they weren't scratching that itch for me that I needed scratched. Those didn't feel like love to me, it felt like an intense and passionate fling. Fun, exciting, hot as hell, but ultimately meaningless. So I asked myself if I could create a haremlit that portrays the kind of relationships that have more than a passing resemblance to love.

To that end, I have tried to build the relationship between Mitchell, Allora, and Lethelin slowly and with deliberate choices. They take time to come to terms with their feelings for one another. Allora especially has things she is working through. There are things she tries to hide, even from herself. Things that must be revealed if her and Mitchell are to have a chance.

Mitchell isn't ready for the harem either, despite what he thinks. He has to be a better man. He has to become the leader they need him to be, and show that he has what it takes to survive and protect what's his. He is fine for that task on Earth, with Earth problems, but he's not fine for the task on Tewadunn. He can't just show up on scene and say 'Yo, I'm the chosen Chad. Who's first to bounce on this Chad dick?' More than their love, he needs their respect. You can love someone and pity them for their weakness and ineptitude at the same time. Through no fault of their own, either. That is not the kind of love that wins a harem. And, if you're reading this, that means you didn't skip to the end. To reward your patience, here's a bit of a snippet about the next harem member: Her name is Slyph. Shhh! Don't tell the others! 

And Lethelin, as I mentioned in a comment in another post, has to learn to rely on others and allow herself to be cared for. She has to take this situation seriously and recognize that she's stronger with Mitchell and the other members than alone. That there is value beyond coin in working for the greater good, for something bigger than herself.

And all of this is just in the first book. There are two more books planned, and the harem will grow. The women most of all are complicated creatures. They were designed from the outset with the goal of making them feel real and with desires, motivations, and lives that have nothing to do with the Mitchell. Slowly, they're drawn into his orbit and they face the threats together. Allora, admittedly, a little less so since Mitchell is her mission, but there is a lot of pain and trauma behind her purple eyes that she has to sort through. And Mitchell was designed to have potential, but he will have to work harder than any of them in order to become someone truly worthy of their love and respect.

Rather than sex, I have built in small moments of tenderness and intense emotion. Mayhap, gentle friends, you remember some of these scenes. The first true one was Allora sitting by Mitchell's side all night, exhausted, as Mitchell's body completed the absorption of the heart stone. She refused to sleep, choosing instead to watch over him until he awoke.

The second such scene is when the cekip nearly blows the top of Mitchell's head off. After he's healed and about to fall asleep, he asks Allora if she'll stay with him, and she responds with a simple, "Always." (This scene was and remains especially emotional for me, as I was processing a recent break-up when I wrote it.)

Allora then comes to Mitchell's room in the bathhouse in Chapter 23. A quiet conversation. The first real, friendly, warm conversation they've had in the entire story up to that point. A shared laugh and a touch. And in that scene, Allora cracks just a little bit, for the first time. She asks Mitchell to call her Lora.

And then there is the scene when Mitchell dissects the flows. If you haven't gotten that far in the story, don't worry, it's coming. You'll see what I mean.

With Lethelin, it's developing along a different path and some of their big moments are yet to come. But now that you know what I'm talking about, you'll recognize them when you read them, I think.

But all of that is to say that I am attempting to have them fall in love with each other. Not because the story needs it to happen, or because everyone is hot, but because they actually do come to love, cherish, and need each other as they face the challenges before them. Naturally, there is some plot armor here, otherwise it wouldn't be a harem, but I am trying to inject genuine emotions into this story so that, when the sex finally does happen, when their love is consummated, you know that it is right. You know that Mitchell has earned their love and respect and he truly understands and appreciates them as well. That you smile to yourself and in your mind you're thinking "fuckin' A, man. Fuckin' A!"

Maybe I'm being overly optimistic with my skills at the keyboard, or over-estimating what readers of this genre want and enjoy, but--at least on the latter point--I don't think so. That's what I'm banking on, anyway. That there are enough readers who want ribeye steak instead of the Banquet TV dinner Salisbury steak. Don't get me wrong, I was a poor kid in the 80s and 90s, and I've eaten more TV dinner's than I care to admit. Those Salisbury steaks have a special place in my heart. But they're not ribeye cooked over a grill.

Which brings me to the question: Am I succeeding thus far? Do you feel a bit of that emotion that Mitchell feels as he holds her hand in the inn? Did you feel some of Allora's pain as Mitchell stalked off after he swore his oath? Did that simple 'Always' convey the deeper meaning behind the words that it was intended to convey? I know how it sounds and feels in my head, but I can't assume that you're taking it the same way. So I would love to know if, in your opinion, I'm succeeding or failing in my goal? And, maybe, should I even have that as a goal in the first place, considering it's something almost no one actually does in this genre? And if it's not coming across as I'd hoped, what could I be doing better?

If you've read all that, and you've got a minute, I've love to hear your thoughts.