Why I’m doing this...

I thought about this for a long time, not sure whether I should talk about it publicly or not, but in the end, I concluded that it's probably okay to have it stated. The question why I’m doing these videos for money and why I sell a lot of things on eBay which, in some cases, were collected for a decade. Here's a statement:

Well, the main reason is that some years ago my apartment was destroyed by a fire, while I was at a furry convention. Back then I was young and naive, therefore I had no insurance to cover the damage. To be more accurate, during a thunderstorm lightning caused a surge inside my place and some device caught fire, which spread quick. 

The court decided that it's my fault, because i left the apartment for a week and didn't unplug everything, how one is supposed to do. Long story short, after that there wasn't much left, mostly stuff i stored in the basement. So, my belongings were reduced to some books, some tools, inflatables, furry stuff and some clothes i had with me. On the other side I suddenly had debts in the amount of >40k euros, plus a fine of 2k euros and one year of suspended sentence from the court...

These days I’m still struggling, even if i can see progress. My debts are reduced to around 15k euros by now, since I try to pay off as much as possible every month. Most of the time I don’t even keep the minimum amount which is allowed by law for living, just to have everything paid off quicker.

But life isn’t easy. I keep getting hit by depression and have been in therapy a couple times. Not being able to work in the job where I used to work, because of a bike accident makes it even more intricate. I can mostly work and life normal, but I need to take care of my back since the accident. Last year I overworked myself, which caused a myelitis from which I’m still slowly recovering. Besides that, I managed to renovate the most of our apartment, which basically was a ruin when I rented it. But with debts it’s difficult to find a good place to live in, so this was the only way.  Luckily, I have a lovely partner, who moved in with me last year and always tries to help me as much as he can and that means a lot! He’s probably the reason I’m still going...

But why am I telling this? Well, that was some background of what is going on in my life. Maybe you figured it out already but getting some money for the videos helps me a lot to get toys for playing and to make videos while still being able to get my financials back to normal at the same time. Same goes for the stuff I’m selling on eBay. Sometimes It hurts to sell something I kept over years, but it helps me a lot and if the buyer wants to get a video along with the toy, it makes me happy twice. 

Because people asked me in the past, why I didn’t start a fundraiser or something like that, I don’t like the idea of begging for money without giving something in return. That may be stubborn, but that’s how I am. 

What I need to make clear, if my situation was better, I would show my stuff for free, because I wouldn’t want to make profit with something that I enjoy so much!

To come to an end, a big THANK YOU goes out to anyone who is supporting me. Especially to the people who gave me toys to make videos and / or sell them :-)

And now back to videos!