Beginner's Guide to Gold Digging: Chapter 16

Author's Note: Aaaaannnndddd here we are! The moment you've all been waiting for. Time for everything to change, and everyone to get a much-needed wake-up call. Thank you for coming with me on this journey as I tell you the story of the two most stubborn people on the planet. We're coming up on the halfway point, so thank you for sticking it out and thank you for continuing to read!

A Beginner’s Guide to Coming Clean

Lily

“Now now, then,” Crispin growled into my ear as he tightened the ropes around my wrists and plunged deeper and deeper into me, “Are you going to beg me, now?”

“P-please M-master,” I quivered as he played me like an instrument, “Please let me cum on your cock. I need it!”

“But that’s not what you’re supposed to be, is it?”

“No, Master! But I still need it!”

“Then I guess you’re not a lesbian after all, are you?”

“No master,” I said, waking up halfway through the dream-sentence. My toes were curled and my hands were bunching the fitted sheet tightly and my nipples were glass-cutter hard. 

I instantly let go as the sensations of the dream, of what it was I’d dreamt of, registered between sharp, deep breaths. I gathered my knees and hugged them against my chest as I sat up and started crying again, shame and disgust radiating from my core in a noxious heat that threatened to dry out the ocean of my soul. That fantasy was… No, I couldn’t want that. I couldn’t want it like that. That was immoral. I couldn’t- that wasn’t what- wasn’t what-

Wasn’t what I was supposed to be.

But it was what I was. 

My dream-self had admitted it. And as the tears started flowing freely for the millionth time of late, it dawned on me that perhaps it was time my waking self did as well. 

Yet it wasn’t that simple. I’d built my entire female identity around my lesbianism. My aesthetic (one I didn’t wear anymore); my personality (one I didn’t like anymore); my social life (paltry). It should’ve been easier to let it go. I wanted to let it go. But I also couldn’t, because it felt like letting the old me die completely. God, it was just like hatching. Saying it out loud, actually living in the world where I was a girl, was a whole other way of being I’d had to learn, and I’d known that. It was why I’d boy-moded for so long past the point it was practical. Change terrified me. The fact that I could change, that I wasn’t the person I thought I was, terrified me. It should’ve been easier this time; I’d already been through it once. Maybe that was why I was extra scared. I didn’t want to have to do it all again. It would be a whole new set of rules to learn, a whole new way of interacting with men and with women as well. And it was wrong, just wrong in general. I wasn’t supposed to like men. And even though I apparently did, I wasn’t supposed to be with one. I was supposed to do my part for the community by getting with another girl, make us more visible, strength in numbers in troubling times. If I got with a guy, especially a guy like Crispin, wasn’t I betraying my own queerness? 

Olivia’s voice screamed inside my head, saying that I wouldn’t magically become a real girl just by getting with a guy. That I’d never be a real girl, that I was lucky any girls wanted anything to do with a fraud like me, that if I got with a guy then I’d just be halfway between some sad little gay boy and yet another boring, milquetoast straight girl. But Olivia had never said those things to me… Well, okay, she’d said a few of those things to me at various points.

Regardless, she wasn’t here saying them to me now. That I was hearing it in her voice didn’t change the fact that they were my thoughts, and if I was thinking them… Then that was just how I felt. About men, and women, and women who liked men.

God, I am such an asshole. 

I couldn’t do this anymore. I couldn’t keep pretending. I’d hoped that planting one on Crispin’s mouth earlier would do the trick, would be a way of telling him I liked him back without having to actually say it aloud. That he’d just… Take the lead after that, drive us back to this beach house so we could have sex and talk about what it meant while we cuddled afterwards. Yet again, however, I realized that if I thought he would do that, it was actually because I wanted to do all that. I wanted to kiss him, to have sex with him, to cuddle with him. I wanted it all, and I wanted it with him. He was probably too stunned by what I’d done, too perplexed by my lack of explanation, to actually think clearly about it. Probably thought I was forcing myself to kiss him out of some misplaced gratitude. 

Oh God, that was definitely it. It was exactly like him to think things like that, to believe everyone saw the world in terms of taking a hit to make someone else happy. He genuinely didn’t realize that most people weren’t that selfless, that most people weren’t that generous or that giving or that willing to go out of their comfort zone for the benefit of their loved ones. And that was beautiful of him. It was one of the many, many things about him that I found so very beautiful. One of the things that had made me…

One of things that had made me fall in-

I’d fumbled the first kiss. Oh God, I’d fumbled the first and the second kiss both! I hadn’t been clear about what I wanted. I needed to make it more obvious. I was still scared to say it out loud, but I could still show him. 

Heart beating like a drum solo, I climbed out of bed and made my way up to the third floor. 

His door was open. His bed was empty. Illicit desires competed for space inside my mind: to wrap myself in his sheets and wait for him in the nude, to smell his clothes, to leave him a note on his pillow begging him to come downstairs for me. I peered out the bedroom window and saw him on the beach, stripping off his shirt as he walked towards the water. 

My legs moved without my permission. All I was wearing was a baggy black t-shirt over my briefs as I went downstairs and followed after the man I…

The man I…

I couldn’t say it. I couldn’t even think it. The idea of that just… It wasn’t okay. Crispin and I had only met a few months ago. I couldn’t be in… I couldn’t feel that strongly for him. This was just a crush. Infatuation. It- he- was new and shiny and different than what I was accustomed to. Of course I felt overwhelmed by it. I was just confused.

But as I climbed across the sand and felt the cool moonlight on my skin, saw his muscular, manly frame floating atop the black water, there was nothing confusing about it. About him. About what I felt. I wanted to climb into the water and cling to him. I wanted him to feel me from the inside. I wanted to tell him. I was scared, so I couldn’t, but I wanted to. I had to make it more obvious this time. I had to leave no room for ambiguity. I had to make it clear I liked it when he touched me. 

The cold ocean water flowed around my ankles, my thighs, my hips as I swam out to him. He turned and floated towards me, standing up on his feet as he drank in the sight of me. His black hair, slick with water, and green eyes, like emerald pools, shone under the light of the full moon. “Hey. What are you doing up?”

I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t say anything. I simply came up to him, grabbed his hands, and put them on my breasts. My shirt was soaked and my nipples were hardening through the fabric, and he balked as I got him to squeeze me. His massive hands felt heavenly, his fingers divine as they kneaded the sensitive flesh of my globes. I groaned with pleasure, my body feeling like it was dissolving into the water and leaving only my soul remaining. 

“Lily,” Cris whispered. “What’s going on? Why are you-”

I put a finger to his lips, and did my damndest to smile coyly. To my delight, his hands didn’t move, and I flowed more and more into him as he kept playing with my boobs. I stood on my tip-toes and brought my face right up to his. I chewed my lower lip as the water surged around my body. I wanted to lose myself to it. To him. I wanted- NEEDED- him to recognize that. Oh God, please let this work.

I pressed my lips to his, and this time, there was nothing hurried or quick or casual about it. I kept them there, his stubble bristling against my skin and tickling me, his ocean-scent highlighted by the surroundings and overwhelming my senses. My fingers went into his hair, working through the wavy black locks, thick and soft and wild. My tongue tentatively probed into his mouth, and after a moment of flinching, he offered his own. His tongue was in my mouth, rooting around, and I couldn’t help but smile, couldn’t help but giggle and moan as our mouths opened wider and wider and we had to steal breaths in between kisses beneath the golden-white moonlight. His hands drifted off of my breasts and slid down to my hips, settling in the dip as his fingers pressed into my ass. 

Soon, he was cupping me and bringing me ever closer. Soon, he was lifting me up, and I was wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. Soon, there was nothing between us, and we were flowing into each other like two tributaries joining a river. Soon, a wave washed over us, a collision of cold saltwater that should have taken us out of the moment. 

Needless to say, it didn’t. We kept on at it, playing-tonsil hockey as Crispin carried me back to shore and placed me on the sand. He looked at me with a hunger in his eyes I almost couldn’t comprehend, a yearning, an aching need like a starving man staring at a buffet. I’d seen this look on people before, on men and women both, but never directed at me. I needed it like I needed oxygen, needed it on me all the time, and I knew, just knew, how to make that happen: I put my fingers around the waistband of his shorts. I looked up at him, my eyes wide, and mouthed, ‘may I?’

“Lily,” he groaned. “I… You don’t have to do this.”

I opened my mouth. I wanted to say something. I had to say something. 

The words refused to come. 

Instead, I simply shook my head. 

“D-do you want to do this?” he said, audibly flabbergasted. 

I nodded. 

“You do? You really do?”

I nodded again as I pulled his trunks down to his ankles, revealing his manhood for all the world to see. Thank God the beach was empty but for the two of us. A bush of black pubic hair sat above his dick… His massive, massive dick. Holy shit! Maybe I didn’t have a ton of reference points, but still, that thing was enormous. It stood at full attention, the foreskinned head right in front of my face.

Was I really about to do this?

“Giving you one last out here, angel,” Crispin groaned. “If this is just… Gratitude… There’s other ways you can make it up to me.”

I answered without answering. I wrapped my fingers around the shaft, hot and hard, and maneuvered my mouth towards the head. I gave it a kiss, and I smiled when Cris shivered in response. I went for it again, mouth opened slightly, taking an exploratory mouthful of head and rimming my teeth over the foreskin. He groaned again, and I sighed with delight. 

He was so good to me, and I wanted to be good to him. Good for him, after all my hostility and protests and hand-wringing. He deserved someone who was as good to him as he was to his women. And God help me, I wanted him to make me his woman.

Crispin’s hands rested on my head, fingers working through my wet curls as I tongued his shaft and savored the slick underside. I started to suck, and I reveled the feeling, dopamine pumping from my brain at the repetitive task and lust flooding me as I realized how good, how right, how natural it felt for me to be doing this. His cock in my mouth, me sucking away and using my tongue and my teeth and my mouth to pump as much pleasure as possible up into him, was the most natural thing in the world. I’d always wanted this, deep down, I was sure. I was finally becoming who I’d always been. His seed in my mouth would complete the transformation, letting the flower of my sexuality finally bloom in earnest. 

Time passed with the rhythm of the waves crashing against the shore, a metronome with which I kept pace on my deep-throating. Doing this sent a buzzing sensation through me that I never wanted to let go of, that I don’t know how I’d ever lived without. Eventually, I lost track of time entirely, and knew only the sounds of the waves against the sand and Crispin’s low, mesmerizing groans of pleasure. 

“Lily,” he choked out. “The thing about me is… I… I have trouble coming if my partner doesn’t first. It’s not impossible. But if it’s not good for you, then-”

I looked him straight in those shining verdant eyes, and I winked and I giggled around his cock, and I don’t know what this says about me but I’ve never felt more like myself. 

“Did you-”

I nodded. Going by the state of my sheets earlier when I woke up from That Dream, it wasn’t exactly untrue. 

“Oh thank God,” he groaned. 

And then, as I kept on deep-throating him, the flood he’d been keeping dammed exploded into my mouth all at once. Hot, sticky, sweet, delicious- it was sublime, and I swallowed every last drop. This fairy tale I read once as a kid mentioned that once you eat fae food, you’ll never want anything else again. I don’t know if I’d go quite that far, but I could definitely develop an appetite for this stuff. 

I wiped my mouth and looked up at Cris, who, for his part, looked like he’d had a transcendental experience. He knelt on the sand with me and pressed his forehead to mine. “That was really fucking good, Lily. Holy shit. You didn’t have to-”

I put my finger to his lips again.

He chuckled. “Right. Um… So you wanted to. Uh… I think maybe… We need to have a talk?”

I nodded. Wasn’t gonna be an easy conversation, especially if my brain wasn’t letting me say certain things out loud, but… We could figure it out. 

“Want me to carry you home?” he said, fingering my curls and staring into my soul. 

I nodded again. Home. The way he said that… It put some new images in my head. Him carrying me across the threshold of a house, of this beach house, after our wedding, me in a white gown that made me look like a damn princess, matching golden rings on our fingers… Probably not a good idea to get ahead of myself, but also, the engagement didn’t exactly feel fake anymore. 

Still, we needed to talk. 

He put his arms around me again and lifted me up, and I settled into his grip as he bridal-carried me back to the beach house. And for a moment, I indulged the fantasy. Pretended this was our house, that we were going to spend our lives here, listening to the waves crashing against the shore. 

***

We settled inside the living room. Cris worked on getting a fire going in the hearth while I put on the kettle for some tea. Glad I brought a few packets of that throat comfort tea Rose had given me, given what I’d just been up to. 

My head was spinning. I’d really done it. I’d had sex with a guy! And I’d fucking LOVED it!! Sure, it wasn’t penetration, but like… I’d sucked him off for crying out loud. I’d swallowed! My gold star was officially revoked, and the craziest part was that I never wanted it back. 

Cris and I both stripped out of our wet swimming clothes and let them hang outside, so that left us naked in front of the fire as it started to blaze. I saw him in all his manly glory, and it made me hungry again. Fuck, this had to have been a long time coming, because it felt like years of pent-up boy-liking was exploding out of the proverbial closet all at once. 

Cris stretched out on the floor with his back to the pyre, looking at me like I was some kind of beautiful angel and holy shit that’s why he calls me that. I smiled and tucked my hair behind my ears, and thought back to the dream, and the fantasy, and in both of those my hair was grown out. Down past my shoulders, no less. Fuck, I really was changing. I wanted it all. The long hair and the makeup and the dresses and the pearls and the hot boyfriend. All the girliest things, all the stereotypical things, all the things I’d spent my whole life pre and post hatching convincing myself that I didn’t want, that I’d convinced myself was stupid and vapid and Not Me. All the things Kevin and Olivia and all of their ilk had made me ashamed to want.  

Life comes at you fast. 

“So,” Cris said, cast in warm red and orange hues as fingers of heat bathed us both. “Do you wanna go first?”

I shook my head. I was going to need the extra time to work up the nerve to say something. To say… Anything, really.

“Okay,” he breathed, that low voice of his intoxicating to listen to. “I’ll start by saying that I don’t believe in love at first sight. But… The first time I saw you, when I walked in on you doing squats and I couldn’t stop staring and… Well, I do believe in lust at first sight, I guess.”

I giggled. Fuck, I did that a lot now. It was still strange to hear it coming from my own mouth, but… Maybe I could get used to it. It was a nice sound, and it felt good. 

“And, I just really wanna clarify this: I was determined not to fall for you,” he said. “Every time I saw you, I was repeating in my head ‘she is off-limits.’ I had to, because otherwise, I started getting lost in some very dangerous daydreams.”

“Even when I was being mean to you?” I said. First words I’d spoken since we’d been intimate, and they came unabated. Okay, good- I wasn’t so nervous as to go completely nonverbal. Just on specific topics. 

“Especially when you were being mean to me,” he laughed. 

I giggled again. Hm. Get used to it, I definitely could. 

“Honestly, though? I could tell your heart wasn’t in it. At least not all the way. Like, yeah, you were definitely annoyed by me at first, but it never came off like you hated me,” he said. “If anything… I guess you just… Seemed like you wanted to be friends? I dunno. I mean, at least for the first couple weeks I wanted to keep my distance to avoid acting like a creep or perv or anything like that, but after we smoked together… I felt something. Like, maybe you were at least willing to socialize with me? And by the time we actually got into this crazy arrangement I was already down bad, I was thinking about you all the time-”

“When you were masturbating, you mean?”

“Yes. When I was masturbating. And… And when I was fucking other girls. You were the only person on my mind.”

“That might actually be the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Really? Because it sounded gross in my head,” he winced. 

I scooted over and rested against his chest, basking in his warmth and reveling in the tickle of his chest hair on my bare back. “So, the lust was immediate. When did it become more than that?”

“It started to become more for me when you wouldn’t let me have a doughnut.”

I winced. “Seriously?”

“It was funny, okay?” he said. “You’re really freaking charming and funny in a nerdy, dorky kind of way, sue me. Plus, you’re brave. And you’re witty and cute and low-key insane but like… In a hot way, if that makes sense? And you challenge me- like you actually fucking challenge me instead of just trying to placate me to get what you want, and that is… That is not how it normally goes for me. Bickering with you was the first time in years I’d felt seen by someone else. I’m used to feeling alone, all the damn time. But with you next to me… Well, I wasn’t alone.”

I turned my head and cupped his cheeks in my hands. “You’re not alone. I meant what I said before. We’re friends, and even if this had never happened, we’d still be friends.”

“But… We’re more than that, right?”

I kissed him, long and hard and hot, and delight danced within me as I realized I could do this all the time now, that I could kiss this beautiful, wonderful man all day every day and nobody could do a damn thing to stop me. 

“Is that how you answer questions now?” he breathed into my mouth. 

I kissed him again as my answer. 

“Okay, cool,” was his response. 

More giggles followed. 

“So what about you?” he asked. “When did it start?”

“I’m not sure,” I confessed, stretching out on the floor, rolling onto my back and staring at the ceiling. The lack of carpet was a bit cold and a bit hard, but the fire helped with that, as did the tall, dark-haired hunk lying next to me. “It definitely… It definitely hit me hard last night, when I was tending to your wounds, but… I think it started before then? After we started up our arrangement, I began to have dreams about…”

“About…”

I blushed tomato-red. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Lily.”

“No, seriously, I… I’m not ready to tell you about it,” I said, turning away from him, shame sitting cold and jagged inside me. 

He settled into the crook of my back, planting a kiss on my neck and melting me a nice little smidge. “I understand. Nothing you’re not comfortable with, okay? This is all… Well, I’m guessing this is all pretty new to you?”

“Mm-hm.”

“Then I’ll help you through it,” he said, kissing my neck again and again and again. 

Oh Lord, this man, this wonderful, wonderful man. “I think, though, it was when you went shopping with me and Rose, and you said I looked beautiful in that dress and… There was this spike of warmth that went through me, and the second I realized it felt nice I got hit with this tidal wave of shame that snuffed out all the happiness and I… I kept trying to drown myself in it. But the more time I spent with you, the more you’d offer me a hand up from the surface, the more you’d save me from drowning in myself… The harder it became to deny I wanted to feel that warmth again. That warmth that only you could make me feel.”

His fingers traced the outline of my hip, going up and down the valley and tickling me. “So. You like me, then?”

I took his hand from behind and brought it to my breasts, pinched the fingers around my nipple and let myself squeal with pleasure. 

“Heh,” he said. “Well that’s good to know.”

He really didn’t… He didn’t mind that I wasn’t saying it. He understood me. And he kept tweaking my nipples, turning them like a radio dial as he kissed my neck, my cheek, my temple. 

“I have to be honest though, Lily,” he said. “It’s way past ‘like’ for me. I think I… Fuck, no I shouldn’t say it.”

“You already said it,” I said, lost in the splashes of ecstasy he was dousing me with. “Say it again.”

“I’m in love with you, Lily,” he whispered into my ear. “You don’t have to say anything back, or do anything to respond. I just… If we’re getting everything out there, well there it is. Maybe it’s too soon to say something like that, but doing things in the wrong order is kinda us in a nutshell, isn’t it?”

“It is,” I whispered. 

“So, putting aside everything else… Be my girlfriend?” 

I rolled back over and I buried my tongue down his throat. 

“Cool,” Cris said. 

“I just can’t believe this is real,” I whispered. “I never expected to have a boyfriend. I never expected to feel this way. What if… What if I don’t deserve it? What if I mess it up because I’m not woman enough-”

He cupped my chin. “Lily. You are absolutely woman enough. Whether you wanna wear hoodies and sneakers or dresses and heels, you are woman enough. Don’t ever say that about yourself again, okay? And if you have any questions about how all this works, just go ahead and ask. I’ll answer as best I can.”

“I… I do have questions. About what all this means,” I said, “And about… About you.”

He grinned, his thick black stubble unable to hide his dimples. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything,” I said, wide-eyed and eager.

“Kind of a tall order,” he laughed. “Where do I even start?”

“Start… Start with this place,” I said, looking around at the interior of this perfectly quaint little beach house that I already never wanted to leave. 

“What about it?”

“Well… You say your family stopped coming here, but it looks so well-maintained. Do you have like a crew who-”

“No,” he cut me off. “Just me and Lydia. Priscilla doesn’t really come here- it makes her sad. But Lydia and I come out once a month to deep-clean the place, and I have the electric and Wi-Fi and water bills set to auto-pay on my bank account.”

“It must be really special to you.”

“It’s where my dad proposed to my mom,” he said. 

“You miss her, don’t you.”

He nodded. “Constantly. Someone has to, since my dad clearly doesn’t.”

“Cris. Come on.”

“Come on what?”

“You can’t keep hating your dad for moving on.”

“Why not?”

“Because honestly? I wish my dad had moved on. He never did. And sometimes I wonder if that’s part of what killed him.”

“Shit. That makes sense. I just… I dunno. We buried my mom and then a few months later Karen showed up and… God, it just felt like a slap in the face. I know it was decades ago and I’m a grown-ass man and should be over it, but… It stung.”

“That is… Okay, that is a bit fast,” I ceded. “But you can’t take it out on Karen. She’s… She’s a lot, but she’s honestly really nice when you get to know her?”

“Okay,” he nodded. “How about this: I will try to be nicer to Karen. I will also try to be less angry at my dad, but only about my mom. Everything else about him is still fucking annoying.”

“Oh, no disagreements there,” I said. “He’s ridiculous. And loud. And obnoxious.”

“And overbearing. And narcissistic.”

“But he is kinda what brought us together,” I pointed out.

“... Fuck, you’re right,” he groaned. 

“Speaking of which,” I said. “So, uh… We’re not fake engaged anymore, are we?”

“Uh… Um… I suppose not.”

“So are we for-real engaged?” I said, facing him, running my fingers through his chest hair, delighting at the way his pulse quickened at my touch. 

“That… That feels a little fast.”

“Why? I mean, this whole thing has a certain whirlwind romance to it already-”

“Lily,” Cris said, cupping my chin. “I’m willing to wait for you to say it, but if you can’t say you love me out loud, then we’re not ready to get married.”

I deflated a bit. I mean, he was right. It was way too fast. And if I couldn’t say it aloud, then there was definitely some more baggage I needed to sort through before we could take that step. “Okay.”

“But if you’ll have me, I’d love to be your boyfriend.”

I bit my lower lip, but it did nothing to dull my smile. “Okay. Then… Let’s start with that. I’m your girlfriend. And you’re my… Holy shit, never thought I’d say this… You’re my boyfriend. My beautiful, adoring, boyfriend.”

“I’m still a douchebag though, right?”

I responded by nibbling his neck. Screw it, he’d corrupted me, he could live with a hickey. He responded by rolling me over and pinning me down. My eyes went wide at the sight of him on top of me. “We probably should keep the pretense going. You know, so you can still buy me stuff.”
“Not beating the gold digger allegations any time soon, angel,” Cris laughed. 

Guess what? I giggled. “No, I’m really not. Also, did you know that ‘angel’ is what Steve Trevor calls Wonder Woman when you-”

“I actually just learned that like six hours ago,” he laughed. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I liked it, and I didn’t want you to stop,” I sighed. “Maybe that was when it started for me. The first time you called me that.”

“Then I guess I just have to keep calling you that,” he said. “You are my angel.”

“Mmmm!” I squealed, hooking my hands behind his head and bringing his lips onto mine, exploring his mouth with my tongue, reveling in the sensation of him on top of me and his chest hair sliding over my nipples. Little sparks of pleasure lit a fire in my soul as his hands traveled up my hips and towards my mouth. 

His fingers entered, and I started to suck. God, I was gonna develop an oral fixation at this rate. My foot traveled between his legs and found his throbbing erection as I kept sucking on his fingers. 

“Okay,” Cris said, “I should warn you, if we keep going-”

“Please, do,” I said. “Also, please tell me you have lube?”

He hopped up. “I always keep some in my room here. Gimme a second- I’ll be right back!”

He ran off up the stairs, and you better believe I checked out his ass he left. Yeah, there’s definitely some serious boy-liking going on in this brain of mine. I sat up in front of the fire, preparing myself for what was about to happen. I only hoped I was up to the task. Cris had probably been with over a hundred women, the odds of him being disappointed by my inexperience was high, so I just had to do my best. 

It wouldn’t be the first time per se: I’d been pegged on a couple occasions. I honestly loved it, but most of the girls I was with… They were more interested in getting me to peg them. With my actual… You get the idea. Olivia in particular… God, she was the worst. 

Cris came back and was already in the process of wrapping up his dick in a condom, a bottle of lube in hand. He worked it over his sword, and I got on my hands and knees and held my butt aloft. “One last out,” he said as he loomed over me. 

I responded by grabbing his dick and pulling him to the ground with me, kissing his neck and then giving him another hickey for good measure. 

“Needy girl,” he said as he navigated around me. He gave me a smack on the ass, then brought his hands to my shoulders. “Okay. Just tell me what feels good, yeah?”

“Will do,” I said. “Dahling.”

“Goddammit, Lily, I told you not to do that,” he said as his tip rimmed the outline of my back entrance, a tickle of pleasure running up my back in the process. 

“Guess you’ll just have to punish me,” I cackled. 

He smacked me on the ass again, and I squealed. “Like that?”

“Harder,” I moaned. 

And so he did, the impact nailing me as he began to probe my hole with the head of his cock. It was so much warmer than a toy, even through the wrapping. I shuddered with delight as he started to gyrate his hips back and forth. I in turn started to push back, greedily taking another half-inch into my canal. 

“Oh, does my angel want more?” he laughed.

“God, yes,” I said. 

“What’s the magic word?”

“Please. Please, I need more.” 

He spanked me again, and I squealed again. “Need more of what?”

“I need more of your dick,” I cried. “Please. I need it!”

“Why?”

“Because… Because I…”

He leaned forward and kissed my neck sensually. “Because you?”

I turned my head and shoved my tongue into his mouth, down his throat, cleaning out his tonsils as I raked my fingernails over his scalp. To my gratitude, I pushed back further, and he moved forward in response until another few inches were inside me. 

I was being slowly filled up, and each little bit more gave me a sense of completeness, of overwhelming contentment and ecstasy. He really was just like the sea, washing over me, taking me away, overriding my senses and enveloping my body, mind, and soul. The tide of his manhood began going out higher and higher, until finally all of him was inside me. 

I’d never felt more complete. 

My hips and his bucked back and forth in time. Pushing back against the tide only forced it to work harder to take me away. And take me away he did, the hot and intoxicating pleasure shooting up my back and saturating my entire body. My old self was being washed away once and for all. When it was gone, only my truest self would remain. I moaned and moaned as he pushed into me again and again, his sword carving out a nice little path forward. 

He leaned forward again, grabbing my breasts in his hands and working them like dough, twisting the nipples and kneading the sensitive flesh. His saltwater scent consumed me, his stubble scratching against my face, and I kept biting his shoulders and neck to get him to make those grunts and groans that drove me wild. I bucked back, wanting him to enjoy this, enjoy me, as much as possible. 

I reached between my legs, slowly and hesitantly. I had a complicated relationship with those parts, but I’d had to keep myself acquainted. If I wanted the fullest length for my upcoming vaginal canal, I had to make sure the thing could get long when stimulated. “Is it alright if I-”

“Please, do,” he growled. “I want you to feel good, Lily. I need you to feel good. What makes you happy makes me happy, angel.”

I kissed the wounds I’d put on his neck, then fisted my hen and began to stroke until it came to full attention. I timed my strokes with his thrusts, me moving forward as he pulled back and me pushing back as he moved forward. A familiar tingle began to manifest between my legs as my ass kept on sending spikes of ecstacy up my body. It was like I was being taken from all sides, two separate prongs reaching up to my brain and drowning it with liquid pleasure. 

A pressure started to build inside my ass and my hen simultaneously. “Cris… I’m… I’m…”

“Go ahead, angel,” he said. “That thing you’re holding onto? Just let go.”

I did so love it when he told me what to do. So I let go. All the pleasure building up exploded through my body and out from between my legs at once, and I screamed louder than I thought possible as every last ounce of tension, built up over two long months, just snapped and all I knew was bliss. 

“I love it when you scream like that,” he growled. 

“Are you almost-”

He cut me off with his own screams, and I felt him tense inside me and shoot his load into the condom. He heaved heavy breaths as I fell forward, boneless onto the floor. I was floating again, in the ocean of my mind and soul, warm and safe and secure, and this time, he was floating with me.

He slid out of me, then fell to the floor. He pulled me close and kissed me long and deep, and I drank in the smell of sex emanating off of him. “That was amazing,” he said as he pressed our foreheads together. “Did you-”

I responded, as I did, by kissing him, then burying my face in his chest. 

He held me tight, and we laid there in front of the fire for… I don’t even know how long. I just know I never wanted it to end.