A Beginner's Guide to Gold Digging: Chapter 24

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And now, back to the show:

A Beginner's Guide to Honey-Potting

Lily

And that, dear reader, brings us up to now. I hope that shall suffice as an explanation of how I wound up here, dressed to the nines for my high society debut on Martha’s Vineyard, for a yacht club Labor Day party, on the arm of the man I loved more than anyone in the world as we danced together for all to see.

Needless to say, the story is far from over. But now that you’re up to speed:

“I think they’re jealous,” Cris said as he led me around the ballroom, carving circles across the crowded dance floor. The square room was brightly lit and chandeliered, with fading dusk-light slipping in from outside while the open doors offered a trace of the seabreeze aroma. The white walls and dark-stained oak wood floors popped amidst all the light, while the sounds of partygoers gossipping while stepping to the tones of Tchaikovsky (Rose had given me a classical music primer; I still wasn’t crazy about the stuff, but it seemed beneficial to be able to talk shop) pouring out from the band in the far-left corner. 

“Who are?” I asked, chortling. 

“All the guys staring at us,” Cris grinned. “They can tell I’ve got the hottest girl here. They’d fight me to take a run at you. It would get bloody.”

“Fuck, that’s hot,” I said. 

“Pfft. Of course,” Cris said, sniffing my perfumed neck and kissing my cheek. Oh God, I didn’t know how much longer I could wait for this man to fuck my brains out. 

But there was still some healing to be done. And still some business to take care of. 

Cris’ sisters were all on the dance floor… Well, his cis sisters were. There was still a special surprise we had planned for tonight, a guest appearance that would rattle our opponents to their core. Cris had been dead-set against Lavender’s involvement, but she’d pushed and pushed until I was advocating for her presence. He relented, knowing this was as much about two trans girls finally striking back against people who’d hurt them as it was getting justice for the immediate crimes. Soon, she’d make her grand debut, and we would be ready to hit hard and fast. 

Cris twirled me around, my dress spinning with me and conjuring pure delight. He dipped me low and kissed me passionately as he gripped my lower back and upper thigh. The slit of my dress parted and revealed my mermaid tattoo- God, that thing was a good investment. He was constantly grabbing my thigh now, and it drove me wild. 

He picked me up and tossed me into the air. I landed in his arms, and over his head I saw a dozen or so women glaring daggers at me. 

“Why do all those girls seem so mad at me?” I said, confused. 

“Same reason those guys are annoyed at me, Lily,” Cris said as we continued our dance across the ballroom floor. 

“How do you… Oh. Oh! They’re jealous of me!” I realized as a cavewoman-like territorial rage howled inside my heart and mind. “Because they… They wanna bang you!”

Cris laughed. “Yes, Lily. Does that make you jealous?”

“A little bit,” I blushed. My visual-brain showed me an image of Cris mobbed by other neanderthal-girls at the mouth of our cave-house, only for me to emerge screeching and wielding a club before dragging him back inside away from everyone else.

Cris pulled me close to his chest. “You have nothing to worry about, angel. I only have eyes for you.”

“Yes, but that’s a recent development,” I said, pressing my cheek against his hard chest. “Five months ago, you were the bicycle of New England.”

“True,” Cris shrugged. “Jealous?”

“I- I- yes,” I grimaced. “Is that weird? It feels weird.”

“You get turned on when I’m jealous,” Cris pointed out. 

“Does it go both ways?”

“I mean, a little. Just as long as you’re not being hostile to anyone because of it.”

“I might need to be hostile at some point, though,” I said. “Women throw themselves at you, Cris. Don’t you remember that model?”

“Good point.”

“She just didn’t fucking believe we were together!”

“Yeah, but she’s the kind of person who has no problem seducing someone in a relationship. And that’s not the kind of girl I wanna be with,” Cris said. 

“You’re no homewrecker,” I echoed. “And even at your sluttiest, you only went for one girl at a time.”

“Well, usually,” Cris smirked. 

“Hot,” I said, eyebrows shooting up. At which point my inner-cavewoman offered a convenient solution to this whole… Problem. “Hey, at some point, do you wanna try to bring home another girl for a threesome?” 

“At some point, yeah,” Cris said. He put his lips to my ear and whispered, “But for now, I want you all to myself. That’s what you made me realize, angel. I want one girl who’s fucking obsessed with me, who hangs on my every word, who looks at me like I’m the hottest piece of ass she’s ever laid eyes on, who knows I can make her scream with pleasure while she’s deep-throating me. I want a girl who wants me to wake up and fuck her senseless every morning, who’s waiting for me in my bed when I get home so we can ruin the linens together, who wants me and all my ridiculous bullshit and isn’t afraid to reach out and grab it and hold onto me for dear life. I want forever, Lily. And I want it with you.”

I nearly melted into a girl-puddle on the spot. I fisted his shirt and kissed him, tongue in his mouth and legs spreading around him, daring him to step forward and take me. “I don’t think I could stand to see you have that with anyone else. I could barely stand to see the evidence of your whoring around before we started all this.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Oh, yeah,” I said. “You came into work with a sore back and hickeys on your neck and lipstick on your collar and I was FURIOUS. Absolutely enraged. Because I knew that you were giving other girls that look.”

“What look?”

“The one you gave me when we first met,” I said, our foreheads pressed together as we swayed in time with the classical music. 

“You’re shitting me. That’s when you told me not to look at you at all!”

“I was projecting,” I said sheepishly. “Truth was, I wanted you to look at me like that so damn badly. I wanted to be the only one you looked at like that. I wanted to be the one you stopped whoring around for.”

“Mission accomplished then,” he said, hands gripping my ass so everyone could see. Including the people we were here to fuck with. Good. 

“Yeah. ‘How to tame a manwhore without even trying,’” I giggled. “Meanwhile, you apparently authored a book called ‘how to conv-’”

I cut myself off before I could finish. I could see him flinching as I said it. Dammit. I hated how much it turned me on, but I hated how much it made him uncomfortable even more. The tables truly had turned: now I had to watch what I said around him to respect his boundaries. But it was important to him. There was a phrase bubbling up in my mind, something I desperately wanted to say to him while he railed me, three simple words that embodied my darkest sexual fantasies. I wanted to believe he could take it. I really did. But the results spoke for themselves. 

“You get the idea,” I said bashfully, looking at the floor. 

“Lily,” Cris said. 

“Hey, you asked me not to say the thing in public unless it was for exhibitionism,” I said. 

“I also said not to censor yourself around me. Quid pro quo and all that,” Cris said. 

“Yeah, I know,” I said. “I just… I love you. And I want to make you happy. Always.”

“What makes me happy is what makes you happy.”

“Yeah, but there’s never gonna be one hundred percent overlap,” I said. “I think… We’ve both done a very good job so far meeting each other halfway, but we’re different people and that’s a good thing. It would be boring if our venn diagram was a circle, ya know.”

His lips brushed lightly against mine. “I know.”

“Good,” I smiled at him. “We can finish this up later, though. Right now I think we still have a job to do.”

“Cool,” he replied. “I think I see my target over there. How about you?”

I could have spotted Olivia glaring at me from a million miles away. She was off in the far right corner dancing with her girlfriend who’s name I refused to learn. “At my nine o’clock. Is Lavender in position?” 

“Not yet. I don’t see her… Wait a second. I thought you said she was gonna come here in Preston-mode?” Cris said. 

“Yeah, that’s what she told me. Said she didn’t wanna have to deal with coming out to everyone until… Oh God. Ohhh Dear God,” I said as my eyes drifted towards the entryway. 

The graying butler’s judgemental glare had returned as he ushered in a new debutante: “Presenting… Lavender Armitage, of the Louisville Armitage’s.”

Not for nothing, Lavender looked absolutely divine, clad in a short-sleeved, puffy-skirted white ball gown with black vertical stripes running up it. She’d been paying attention during the makeup lessons I’d given her, if the full face she’d assembled was anything to go by. Red lips and dark-shadowed eyelids and bold mascara brought out the more feminine features she already possessed, and she’d evidently picked up some breast forms and hip pads to create the impression of a figure beneath her gown. Her shaggy, butter-blonde hair had been trimmed into a smart bob and decorated with pearl clips, while a silver horse necklace hung around her throat. At least she hadn’t opted for heels, and was instead wearing simple, practical flats, but still… This was an unexpected development. 

“She went with Karen’s last name,” I said. 

“Can’t really say I blame her,” Cris said. “She might actually hate our dad more than I do at this point. Plus ‘Lavender Winfield’ just sounds weird. And… Oh shit, she’s heading right for Chuck.”

“That’s the whole plan though,” I said. The plan had in fact been relatively simple: go to the party, make a display of ourselves, then isolate Chuck and Olivia from each other. I’d handle Olivia, go out of my way to taunt her about how I was with Crispin now, while Cris and Lavender cornered Chuck and goaded him into admitting his role in the sabotage and trafficking by threatening to reveal to everyone what he did to Lavender. 

Evidently, Lavender thought it would be easier to do that as herself than as Preston.

“It’s not quite what we planned for,” Cris said, fists bunching together as his youngest sister approached the man who’d hurt her. 

“Then we improvise,” I said resolutely. “We adapt. That’s what we do.”

Cris’ grin came back. “You’re right. Let’s do this.”

I kissed him one more time. “Godspeed. Regroup back at the hotel room by midnight?”

“Absolutely. Knock ‘em dead, angel.”

“Same to you, dahling,” I said. 

And off we went. 

I waltzed over towards Olivia and her girlfriend while Cris headed for Chuck on the other side of the ballroom. I noticed Lydia and her fiance, Chadwick, staring at Lavender, alongside Claudia and her date Buford. I couldn’t locate Priscilla, though, or the elder Winfields, even though I knew they were all in attendance. 

I reached Olivia and what’s-her-face, snatching Oliva’s beautifully manicured hand away and spinning her before pulling her close. “Cutting in,” I told the girlfriend with my smuggest grin and most condescending tone. 

“Excuse you?” the girlfriend glared. 

“You’re excused,” I returned.

“Just… Let me handle this, Vivianna,” Olivia said. God, rich people names would never not sound silly to me.

Vivianna huffed and stomped away. 

I pulled Olivia closed, and then adopted the girl’s part of the dance routine, forcing her to do the guy’s part. She flinched when she realized what I was doing. “I think you have our parts mixed up, Lily dear.”

“No, I think I finally know what they really are,” I smiled as I guided her hands to my hips. “I’d say we should both just dance the girl’s part, but that’s not really your style, is it?”

“And what does that mean?” she said in a harsh whisper.

I moved forward, she moved backward, we sidestepped each other vying for control. There was a metaphor in here somewhere, I was sure. “You’re very into traditional gender roles, Ms. Chesterton.”

She blushed. I used to call her that when we were banging. Her lips trembled, and her back arched as her hands drifted further towards my butt. “That’s ridiculous. And frankly, rich coming from you now that you’ve let some man corrupt you.”

“Funny.”

“Funny?” she balked.

“Hilarious, really,” I said, inching closer, snuffing out the scant air between us. “Because Cris set me free. You were the one who was forcing me to be something I wasn’t.”

“I expected you to be the person you advertised yourself as when we first met,” Olivia said, “Not this… Caricature of womanhood he’s forced you to become.”

I smirked, doing my best to mimic the smug expression Cris wore so beautifully. “Ms. Chesterton, only you would think you were being progressive by calling a trans woman false advertising. Only you would think it’s to a trans woman’s benefit to tell her she’s a caricature.”

“I’m simply being honest with you, something you never were with me,” Olivia sneered. “You were a beautiful masc lesbian, a divine butch, but you threw that all away with such eagerness I can only conclude you were lying to me from the very beginning. Just another straight girl who wants attention.”

“I’m bi, Olivia,” I rolled my eyes. “The fact that you can’t accept that says everything about you and nothing about me. And what you saw when we met wasn’t a lie. It was what I thought I was supposed to be. What I thought I had to be. Nobody ever gave me the option to be anything other than masculine, least of all you. Cris was the very first person to give me a chance to be myself, to figure out who that was. It didn’t have to be him. It could’ve been another guy. It could have been a girl. But it was him.”

“Sellout,” Olivia glared. 

“We can agree to disagree on that one,” I said. “Because honestly, I just think you’re mad you were wrong about me. And about you.”

“What on earth does that mean?”

“Ms. Chesterton, you’ve been staring down my boobs this entire dance. That you seemingly don’t wanna admit I’m hot like this, once again, says a lot about you, and how much you value traditional gender roles.”

“I’m not about to be lectured about this by a straight woman-”

“A bi woman, thank you very much,” I said. I pressed my cheek to hers and whispered into her ear, “But hey, you were right about one thing: I do go down on Cris. Every night before bed, as a matter of fact. And I do use teeth. But only as much as he tells me. I do so love it when my man gives me orders.”

Olivia’s face contorted with an almost Biblical wrath. 

I just flashed that smirk. 

“What did you hope to accomplish by coming over here and harassing me, exactly?” Olivia snarled.

“Oh, I just wanted you to clarify a few things for me,” I said.

“Such as?”

“You met Lavender three years ago, right?”

She froze mid-dance. “Who’s… I don’t know whom you’re talking about-”

“Did you know your nostrils flare when you’re lying?” I said. “It took me a while to learn to spot that particular tell, but once I did… Well, that was why I decided to come see you at Margerie’s that night.”

“You mean when you-”

“Caught you in the act of adultery? Which is, ya know, a sin? Speaking of which: I did the math. You met Lavender three years ago. And according to her, that relationship became physical very quickly. And that was right when we were dating. Right when we first went ‘exclusive’ if I recall correctly.”

“How dare you-”

“You can deny it all you want, I’m not gonna believe you, Ms. Chesterton,” I said, running my hands through her long ginger hair, pressing my forehead to hers. “I just wanted to look you in the eyes, have you right where I want you, and finally tell you: I know what you are.”

“And what’s that?” Olivia said, lips trembling, cheeks flushed. 

“Part of the problem,” I said before putting a kiss on her cheek. 

She looked like she was melting. “I suppose… I suppose you and that… Man of yours are getting off on this?”

I pulled her closer towards me, making her lead as we shifted into a waltz. What did Cris call it? Topping from the bottom? Something like that. “I could ask you the same question.”

“What?” she said, her anger slowly subsiding to fear. 

“You and Chuck are awfully close, aren’t you,” I said. 

“I- he is a friend, yes. Are you saying men and women can’t be friends?” 

“Of course not. I’m just saying… Maybe it’s a little weird for two friends to share a trans lover who they won’t let come out.”

“You’re assuming that Lavender is truly trans to begin with-”

“Yes, because I’ve learned to tell when someone’s lying to themselves. When they’re regurgitating ideas that someone else put in their head,” I said. “I wonder how they got there.”

“I- I- I know what you’re doing.”

“What’s that, Ms. Chesterton.”

“You’re honey-potting me.”

“And why would I do such a thing? I would only honey-pot you if you had something to hide. I’m just over here dancing with a woman I used to want to marry.”

“W-what?” Olivia said, eyes peeling wide.

“Oh, yeah,” I said, speaking from the heart. Unfortunately, this part was completely true. “You were my first, Olivia. I wanted you to be my last and my always. I thought… I thought if I could be what you wanted me to be, you’d… You’d love me the same way I love you. But you don’t love anyone. You don’t know how.”

“Vivianna and I-”

“Your words and your actions aren’t lining up here, Liv,” I said, only a quarter-inch of space separating our lips. “I just wanna know: how did you and Chuck meet? And what exactly do you have in common outside of a shared proclivity? Would that, perhaps, be corporate sabotage? Or maybe trafficking and poaching exotic animals, per chance?”

She slapped me. It was a bright, blunt pain that sang out across my face. 

And it was exactly what I’d been hoping for. Still hurt, mind you, but… Well, I knew the risks. “Security! Security! Over here! My ex-girlfriend just assaulted me!”

Burly men and broad women wearing suits and earpieces swarmed us within an instant. Olivia glared daggers at me as I was carted off, but I just waved good-bye, making sure to wiggle the finger with my engagement ring on it. 

‘This isn’t over,’ Olivia mouthed. 

She was right, it wasn’t. This was only step one. 

Crispin

By the time I made it over to Lavender, Chuck was already backed into a corner. Literally: the women he’d come in with were glaring at him, ganged up and pressing him into the farthest reaches of the ballroom. Lavender had her hands on her hips and stood closest to Chuck, who looked like he was having an internal debate about whether to fight, flee, or freeze. 

“Hey, Chucky,” I said, eyes narrow, grin armed and ready, hands in my blazer’s pockets as I approached. “How’s the face?”

“I-”

“How’s the wife?”

“I-”

“How goes the poaching?”

“Oh, fuck you, Winfield.”
“Pretty sure you’ve already fucked a Winfield,” Lavender said flatly. Her girl-voice had come a long way in a short time. “But then again, I’m going by my mom’s name now, so maybe I don’t count.”

“You-”

“But there’s lots of things you said I don’t count as. You know, while we were banging.”

“Is it true?” one of Chuck’s mistresses said. 

“I- I didn’t do anything illegal,” was all he could say. 

“Doesn’t make you less of a scumbag, bro,” I said, smiling with teeth now. “And it does make you less of a man.”

“How fucking dare you?!” Chuck said, pushing Lavender away. 

He reached for me. 

I grabbed his wrist. 

“You just touched my baby sister for the final time, Chuck,” I growled. 

“Can’t believe I let you touch me to begin with,” Lavender said. “Can’t believe I… I thought you loved me. But all I ever was for you was a fetish. And a way to mess with my brother.”

“That’s-”

“Exactly how you got your hooks in me,” Lavender said. “A combination of blackmail and spoon-feeding me stories about how much this would piss off my family. But that really only ever meant Crispin. You are really obsessed with him, you know that, right?”

“You-”

“I mean, I get it,” I said. “He’s just jealous. He’s jealous that I’m prettier than him. That women like me better and always have. That my family has more money. That I’m better at sailing-”

“You take that back you piece of shit!” Chuck said, raising a fist.

At that moment, Lily’s end of the plan went off. Security was carting away Olivia while she screamed and flailed. Lily marched over with the most deliciously smug expression on her face- God, I couldn’t wait for my blowjob tonight. I was gonna ask her to do that expression while she sucked me. 

“I’d be careful if I were you, Chucky,” I said. “Your bestie is about to get asked all manner of uncomfortable questions about her illegal activities. And if you expect her not to throw you under the bus to save her own skin, you don’t know her very well.”

“She wouldn’t- we have an understanding.”

“Yeah, I bet your wife said that too,” Lavender said. 

“We have something special!”

“She’s a lesbian, you idiot. She’s not gonna fuck you,” I said. God, it felt good to be on the other end of that sentence for once. 

“Oh fuck you- I’ve been working on her for years!” Chuck screamed. “She’s gonna let me straighten her out any day now!”

By this point, Chuck’s mistresses were walking away, while Lily was catching up to us. 

“I don’t know if you’re more disgusting than Olivia is,” Lily said. “But you’re definitely more pathetic.”

“It’s not fucking fair,” Chuck hissed, drawing undue attention to himself but seemingly not noticing because of how locked onto me he was. “You fix a lesbian and it’s not a problem, but I try to do the same and I’m the bad guy!? You fuck a tranny and it’s all well and good, but I do the same and I’m a pedophile!”

“Never said you were a pedophile,” I pointed out. 

“I mean, I kinda implied it,” Lavender said. 

“Still gross either way,” Lily said. 

Chuck, demonstrating that his ability to listen to women was still at an all-time low, kept hissing at me. “You go around trying to grow your business, but I do the same and I’m a poacher? All I did was scare was scare some faggots and torch some farmland! Are you fucking serious?!”

“Yeah, bitch,” I said. “I am. Also, pretty sure that was a confession. Hey, everyone! This guy just confessed to poaching and arson!”
All the color drained from Chuck’s face. “I- I- my wife- she-”

“Took the fall for you,” Lily said. “Probably because, like with Lavender here, she thought that if she sacrificed everything for you, you’d finally prioritize her over some girl who’s never gonna want you. I wonder if she’ll stand by you this time, when Olivia lets you take the fall for everything.”

“You,” Chuck said. “You fucking whore- if you’d just done what I wanted at that party, we could have avoided all this.”

“Sorry,” Lily said, linking her arm with mine. “I’m spoken for.”

Chuck lunged for Lily. 

I decked him, while Lavender got in a shot to the ribs and Lily kicked him in the balls. 

“Security! This poacher just assaulted my fiance!” I said. 

I held Lily close while they carried Chuck away. 

“Think he’ll actually do time?” Lavender said. 

“If Olivia pins it all on him, yes,” I said. 

“She’s probably gonna walk, though,” Lily grimaced. 

“Probably,” I said. “But the scandal will get her kicked off the zoning committee. And ostracized in general for making a scene at this lovely party.”

“I guess that’s a start,” Lily said. 

“Yeah,” I said, “It is.”

Our victory celebration was cut short, however, by the arrival of Hurricane Trip. “CRRRRISSSSPPPINNN! LILY!!! PRRRREESSTTTOOOONNN!”

“Lavender!” my youngest sister shouted back at our approaching father. Karen flanked him, and she looked mad, but her glare was directed at her husband, not us. Our other sisters, meanwhile, were grouping around us in a show of strength. Even Priscilla. Hope springs eternal, I guess. 

“You look super pretty,” Lydia whispered to Lavender. 

“Thanks,” Lavender said gently. She looked at Lily, and said, “I had help.”

“Hey, pops,” Lily said to my dad.

Dad flinched. “You-”

“We did you another favor,” I said. “Chuck’s family is about to go down for poaching. You’re welcome: if that merger had gone through, you’d have been fucked.”

“Er-”

“Also, I’d watch how you speak to Lavender here,” Lily said, giving my youngest sister a head-pat. “She was instrumental in helping us.”

“Laaaaaavvvvveeeeennndderrrr!” Dad screamed. 

“Yes?” Lavender, eyes narrow. “Is there a problem with that being my name now?”

“Yeah, Trip,” Karen said, “Is there a problem with that?”

Dad blinked, seemingly in long-delayed recognition of the fact that he’d done fucked up. “I… Er… Well… I… You’ve taken your mother’s last name, I see.”

“You disinherited me,” Lavender pointed out. 

“That is… That is correct, yes,” Dad said. “I’m perhaps beginning to see the error of that course of action.”

“What? Just now?” I rolled my eyes. 

“Perhaps I was too hasty,” Dad said. “Lavender, if you would like to come have a drink with me, perhaps we can discuss how I might… Make reparations?”

“Trip, for God’s sake,” Karen said. 

Dad deflated like a bounce-house at the end of a birthday party. “I… I’m sorry, Lavender. I was wrong.”

“Thank you,” Lavender said. “But you weren’t entirely wrong. I’m a bad person, Dad. And in a lot of ways, you were right to kick me out. It forced me to start getting better. But I’m not nearly there yet.”

“Very well,” Dad nodded shallowly. “I think perhaps I shall retire to my rooms for the evening. But I would like… Like to discuss this matter further on the morrow. With your mother present, of course.”

“Much better,” Karen said, patting him on the cheek. 

“I’d like that,” Lavender said. 

“Very well,” Dad repeated before turning around and heading for the exit. 

Karen, meanwhile, just leapt onto her youngest daughter and hugged her, while all my sisters quickly joined in. 

“That’s very sweet,” Lily said to me, our hands interlocked. “Should we join them?”

“Actually, I was thinking we might head upstairs as well,” I said. 

Lily’s eyes darkened with lust. “Lead the way then, dahling.”

I scooped her up and bridal-carried her towards the exit, so we could make our way back to our room. We still had a lot to talk about, but I don’t think much talking would happen that night.