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Helena Heissner's Patreon

Helena Heissner's Patreon

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A Beginner's Guide to Gold Digging: Chapter 19

A Beginner’s Guide to Famiglia

Lily

The drive back was nice. Beautiful weather, light traffic, Audioslave blaring out my speakers, a handsome raven-haired hunk in the passenger’s seat singing along. We were prepared to face the music when we got to Winfield Manor, but we ...

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A Beginner's Guide to Gold Digging: Chapter 18

A Beginner's Guide to Boat Stuff

Lily

I’d said it. I’d admitted it. I was a bisexual woman, and I had a wicked hot boyfriend, and he was being honest with me and he wasn’t ashamed to be seen with me! Olivia always had been, and it felt like that was true of most...

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Trade Paperback Romance: Chapter 18

Month 12: June 

Samantha 

It didn’t rain at my father’s funeral. Instead, we got mist. A moderate fog, the last gasp of the vernal days before we all began to burn in the furnace of California’s summer. The dampness settled over my skin, frizzing my no...

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Beginner's Guide to Gold Digging: Chapter 17

A Beginner's Guide to the Morning After

Crispin

For the second day in a row, I woke up to Lily DiGiacomo’s curvy, delicate body wrapped around mine as she breathed into the crook of my neck. This time, though? No guilt. No embarrassment. Just pure fucking joy. ...

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Beginner's Guide to Gold Digging: Chapter 16

Author's Note: Aaaaannnndddd here we are! The moment you've all been waiting for. Time for everything to change, and everyone to get a much-needed wake-up call. Thank you for coming with me on this journey as I tell you the story of the two most stubborn people on the planet. We're coming up...

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A Beginner's Guide to Gold Digging: Chapter 15

A Beginner's Guide to Gentlemanly Conduct

Crispin

I found Lily laying on the living room couch, curled up under a blanket and scrolling her phone with a distraught expression. Doom-spiralling, probably. Given the state of the world, I couldn’t exactly blame her. “Hey,” I said. ...

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A Beginner's Guide to Gold Digging: Chapter 14

Author's Note: Happy Pride Month! Hope you're hungry, because you're getting multiple chapters this week!

A Beginner's Guide to Taking the Plunge

Lily

I’d expected something a bit like Crispin’s family house in the city from their beach house. Based on the sheer amo...

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A Beginner's Guide to Gold Digging: Chapter 13

A Beginner's Guide to Strategic Exits

Crispin

18 Hours Earlier

“Hey,” Sarah O’Neil said as she approached me, every ounce as beautiful as when I’d last laid eyes on her. 

“Uh… Hi,” I said, putting down my phone and standing up s...

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By the Horns

author's note: hello, all! Just a heads up, this is a short story I wrote for Pride Month coming up! I had so much fun with it I'll probably do more with the characters and setting in the future! It's also available for sale on Itch!

2025-05-27 18:34:26 +0000 UTC View Post

A Beginner's Guide to Gold Digging: Chapter 12

Author's Note: aaaaaaannnnnndddddd here we go. Fun fact: this chapter contains the first scene I ever wrote for this story. See if you can guess which one.

A Beginner’s Guide to Bi Awakenings

Lily

I stood in my bathroom putting the finishing touches o...

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Update

Hello, all! Just a heads up that I'm looking for an agent for BGC! Unfortunately, this means I have to take down most of the online version, BUT I am leaving chapters 1-5 up as a sneak-preview! Thank you so much for your support!

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Beginner's Guide to Gold Digging: Chapter 11

A Beginner’s Guide to Sunday Service

Crispin

The Morning of the Museum Trip

Holy Absolution was a nice church, if a bit more casual than I was used to. A lot of the parishioners were aging hippies by the look of them- no judgement, obviously, just was...

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A Beginner's Guide to Gold Digging: Chapter 10

A Beginner's Guide to Therapy

Lily

Now

Two weeks after that fateful day at the museum, I walked up to my therapist’s office in a long, sheer pink skirt and white tank top for my monthly session. My hands were trembling as I gripped my purse tightly, a...

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Beginner's Guide to Gold Digging: Chapter 9

Author's note: hello! Heard y'all like multiple posts per week so here's another chapter!

Also, just a heads up: I'm looking for an agent for "Beginner's Guide to Catfishing" so I can have it traditionally published! This does mean I'll have to take do...

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Beginner's Guide to Gold Digging: Chapter 8

A Beginner's Guide to Making Amends

Crispin

“So this is the first place on the list?” I asked. 

“Ten-four on that one, my dude,” Rachel said, looking at her phone as we stood outside of the bar. 

“Isn’t this the place where we kissed ...

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A Beginner's Guide to Gold Digging: Chapter 7

Lily

“They bought it! They really bought it! High five!” I said, raising my palm and anticipating the sensation of Cris’ skin touching mine. 

Unfortunately, no skin-on-skin occurred: Crispin was too busy looking at me like I’d sprouted a second head. 

We sat in...

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Trade Paperback Romance: Month 11 (May)

Eli

A lone shard of sunlight snuck through the blinds of Samantha’s… Of our bedroom window. I still had these moments where I had to remind myself I wasn’t a guest here, that this was my home as much as it was Samantha’s. The ray of light refracted off of Samantha’s black hair, he...

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A Beginner's Guide to Gold Digging: Chapter 6

A Beginner’s Guide to Parental Approval

Crispin

13 Years Ago

I walked arm in arm with Julia Henderson, humming to myself as I brought her to the front door of her family’s mansion. We wore matching white tuxedos to prom, had danced ...

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A Beginner's Guide to Gold Digging: Chapter 5

A Beginner’s Guide to Makeovers

Lily

3 Years Ago

“What are you wearing?” Olivia said, eyes narrow, frown deep-set, fists on her hips. 

I stood in my kitchen, bathed in sunlight and awash with the marinara and garlic and oregano smell of the pasta sauce ...

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Beginner's Guide to Gold Digging: Chapter 4

A Beginner’s Guide to Childhood Friends

Crispin

Lily and I sat next to each other in Rose and Kyle’s living room. The place was homey: the walls were plastered with photos of the two of them, the dishwasher was running, a muted baseball game played on the television, coffee brewed...

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A Beginner's Guide to Gold Digging: Chapter 3

A Beginner’s Guide to Weathering Storms

Lily

I stared at Crispin blankly as he finished providing context for the utterly insane thing he’d said upon walking into my office. This absurd, well-intentioned, shockingly honorable man with his striking green eyes hidde...

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Beginner's Guide to Gold-digging: Chapter 2

A Beginner’s Guide to the War at Home

Crispin

Twelve Hours Earlier

I woke up and started my day the way I always like to: with my head between a girl’s legs, tongue sliding over her pussy lips, smelling that sweet, sweet vagina smell and listening t...

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Beginner's Guide to Gold-digging: Chapter 1

A Beginner’s Guide to First Impressions

Lily

“Presenting Crispin Eric Winfield IV, of the Boston Winfields, and his betrothed, Lily Arianna DiGiacomo of… The North End,” a perturbed, graying butler with stooped shoulders and a wispy beard announced as we enter...

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Trade Paperback Romance: Chapter 16

Month 10: April

Samantha

“How was therapy?” ;Bethany asked while she spotted me. 

I laid on the bench-press, attempting to force a comically small amount of weight over my head with mixed results. Bethany loomed over me in a hot pink sports bra and matc...

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A Beginner's Guide to Catfishing: Chapter 28 (A Beginner's Guide to A Mother's Love)

Briar Rose

I found Mallory’s study how I’d last seen it a few years ago: a bland, nondescript room with a mahogany desk and a truly staggering number of filing cabinets. The place had been scrubbed clean of any trace of my late mother, meaning the evidence was more likely in Mallory’s...

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A Beginner's Guide to Catfishing: Chapter 27 (A Beginner's Guide to Sloppy Seconds)

Kyle

I’d once thought Rose’s former bedroom at our place was the most sterile, lifeless thing I’d ever seen. Looking at Mallory’s place, it seemed my fiance came by it honestly. It was all so aggressively beige: the wallpaper, the bedspread, the carpet. The bed was a cot like you’...

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A Beginner's Guide to Catfishing: Chapter 26 (A Beginner's Guide to Heists)

Briar Rose

 “You realize of course that this is completely deranged, yes?” Ruth as she drank in the sight of me in a black catering uniform with a black pill-box hat covering my hair. We stood in her driveway, sunset only now beginning. 

“I don’t see how this is any ...

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Wheel of Time & the Art of Fantasy Writing: Character Development and Power-Scaling Go Hand-in-Hand (Part 1: Gaining Wisdom)

Okay, last week I talked about how Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series handles the concept of Love at First Sight in regard to its romantic subplots, which was super fun (you should read it). This week, however, we’re not talking about the gushy stuff, we’re talking about the hype...

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A Beginner's Guide to Catfishing: Chapter 25

Kyle

I waited in the lobby of the sterile, all-white doctors’ office while Rose had her consultation. I was set to drive her back to work once her consultation was finished, and I passed the time reading the sports section of the Globe. Nathan and I had already petitioned in purs...

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Trade Paperback Romance: Chapter 15

Month 9: March

Eli

“I’m worried about her,” I said, standing behind the counter at the shop, drumming my fingers on the surface. 

“When aren’t you worried about her?” Tio Miguel said as he flipped through a volume of Love & Rockets....

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